if there was a song about you and me it would have no melody
by leviadrache
Summary: Why do you never stay, he asks.


There's something Aichi told Kai, back when they were together. It was already dark on that evening when Kai was on his way home and Aichi texted him.

 _The stars look pretty tonight. Let's look at them together._

 _Sure_ , Kai replied. _Time and place as usual._

Kai was already waiting on the park bench when Aichi approached him. He didn't wear a jacket as he stepped closer to Kai. It was a chilly night in October, not too cold, but not really warm either. Aichi would get a cold in nothing but his purple shirt and plain white pants, Kai thought, but he didn't say anything as Aichi sat down besides him.

Time passed as they looked up at the sky in silence, their shoulders brushing against each other. Maybe Kai leaned back against Aichi. Maybe Aichi's hand briefly found its way on Kai's.

There wasn't much to say between them, really. Words that needed to be said have already been spoken before. Thoughts or feelings were shared through other ways between them. Maybe he should have acted more surprised when Aichi mentioned his father. "Did you know he lives in Yale, Kai-kun?"

Maybe Kai should have said something, asked something, but he didn't. Just nodded silently. Aichi didn't say anything else either, looked at Kai for a moment, before his eyes found their way back to the sky.

When it got too cold, Aichi stood up, asked Kai if he wanted to come over. Kai didn't have anyone waiting for him at home, didn't hesitate before he agreed, went along with whatever Aichi suggested.

Emi raised an eyebrow when Aichi said Kai would stay over for the night. "Don't you two have school tomorrow," she asked. Aichi laughed and rubbed the back of his head. Aichi's mother simply gave them a warm smile.

They ate in Aichi's room, had a few Vanguard fights. Let time pass without doing anything memorable, it's just the general feeling of the evening that Kai remembers, years later. Well, that and how cold Aichi's lips felt against his. Maybe that was the reason why the room seemed to be so cold and he had to shiver, Kai wonders later. It wasn't a bad kiss though. Aichi was surprisingly good at kissing. Was it even a surprise? Aichi seemed to be good at almost anything, although he tries not to act like it. But back then, when they were kissing each other and Aichi pushed against him fiercely, Aichi was less modest than usual. More like his other self, trying to prove that he didn't make it to the top of the world for no reason. No, the top of the world is right where he belongs.

Maybe the kiss was just good because it was Aichi. Not that it mattered now.

What mattered was the way Aichi laughed against Kai's lips. _You're so stiff_ , he said and ran a hand through Kai's hair. They didn't wake up in each other's arm the next morning. Aichi was already awake and perfectly dressed when Kai opened his eyes.

"Don't tell me you want to skip class today."

* * *

"Hey Kai. Will you come over for the ceremony?"

"If I can make it," Kai replies, then adds. "The stars looks nice here."

"That's good," Aichi says. He's still in Japan, still has to deal with school and exams and stuff. His graduation comes closer and closer each day. "Where exactly are you?"

There's silence on the other side of the line for a while. The only thing Aichi hears is the sound of Kai's footsteps. Like Kai is walking around somewhere, but needs some time to remember where he exactly he is. It seems that even in France, he hasn't lost his love for travelling. Or maybe he just can't sit around and rest in one place.

"Some small town in Germany," Kai finally replies. "The stars look pretty here."

(They really are. The view is nothing like the one Kai is used to seeing back in Japan or in Paris. Sure, it's not as clear and pretty like the one he saw when he was in the Himalaya either. The stars here were somewhere in between those two extremes.

Kai walks through uneven streets that don't feel like they're leading him anywhere. Streets that feel like they've existed for centuries. They have, he remembers. Destroyed and built up again. A nice metaphor.)

Aichi looks through his window. It's in the middle of the day, but the sun isn't shining. All he can see are clouds.

"It's pretty here as well."

There's something else Aichi wants to say, but he has already said it before, too often actually, so he stays silent.

* * *

"So you're back in Japan," Aichi asks about another year later. He has to bite back a yawn. It's in the middle of the night for him in the USA, but it should be around noon at Kai's place.

"Yeah. It's nice to be back." Kai says.

Aichi thinks it's funny. "You never acted like the type who'd miss home, back when we still were there. Always left without a word to go on journeys to who knows where."

Kai doesn't laugh, but Aichi thinks he can hear a smile replacing Kai's usual frown. Well, probably rather a smirk. "Time passes. Maybe even I changed."

"I'd be surprised if Gaillard-kun didn't force you to change a little."

Finally a laugh.

Talking to Kai on the phone has reached a quite comfortable feeling by now. A part of Aichi wants to be in Japan too, but there's nothing he can do. Exam season is coming closer and closer. Not really the right time to visit his home.

"You should come here, too," Kai says despite everything, as if he could read Aichi's thoughts. "You got the messages from Ibuki as well, didn't you?"

Aichi sighs. "Yeah, I did. But I can't just leave the moment I feel like it." An unspoken _I'm not you_ floats with his words, but Kai either doesn't notice or chooses to ignore it.

"We should go stargazing when you come back." His voice is barely audible and Aichi suddenly remembers what he said back then, but never mentioned again. Maybe he's just as bad as Kai.

But it seems they really just aren't fit to be with each other. Though it's not something to blame on fate or destiny or whatever. After all, it was Aichi who decided to go to Miyaji when he knew Kai's at Hitsue and it was Kai who decided to leave Q4 to join New AL4. Aichi who wanted to go to Yale and Kai who wanted to go Paris.

 _I want us to stay_ , Aichi had said back then during that night, quiet enough to be surprised that Kai heard him – and even more surprised that Kai reacted. He felt warm breath on his chest as Kai spoke, voice heavy and nothing more than a mumble.

 _Yeah, me too._

It's not exactly a promise, really. Maybe Kai already forgot about it, maybe it doesn't matter anymore. It feels wrong to repeat those words out loud, so Aichi doesn't want to mention it again. Feels wrong to say them over and over again, like the refrain of a popular song, to almost chant them, until they lost all of their meaning. Although they never carried any meaning to begin with. But it's the path they decided to go and Aichi, he just keeps believing – hoping – their would cross again.

They always do.


End file.
